irregular flow from 4khz on Vimeo.
It would be nice if I was contemplative sylph, like the one featured in the video above. The reality is that I’m a tad more frantic when it comes to making life-changing decisions.
The soundtrack to my stream of consciousness is more like the erratic parts of Stravinsky’s Right of Spring (3:50 onward in this clip, for instance). There is, however, one part of the above video that I relate to: Every time I put my finger on a new fact that I should consider, it spirals out in a spasmodic stream.
Until a few days ago, I had no doubts that Ryerson University would be my future home. RU has offered me a much-appreciated acceptance to their competitive Master of Journalism program and much-needed renewable scholarship that would cover about 90% of my academic expenses. I’ve since delivered my confirmation and paid my deposit.
Recently, however, the University of British Columbia has personally contacted me and offered me an extremely prestigious fellowship (that would cover my tuition and a significant portion of my living expenses), an opportunity to TA for a New Media course (that would also be an income stream) and the possibility of doing some international work. Not to mention the stunning degree of personal care and attention that UBC has given me.
As you may understand, the news leaves me feeling quite conflicted.
Ryerson had initially been my first choice but now I have to think through all the personal, professional and practical considerations that enshroud me. I want to make sure I understand and appreciate everything that both schools have to offer before making this difficult decision. At the same time, I realize how blessed I am…and to be honest I still can’t quite believe this is all happening.
Both schools are incredible, so my mind spins with thoughts of Toronto or Vancouver. Support network or independence. Being close to my loved ones or creating brand new relationships. Media hub of Canada or burgeoning city of Olympic potential.
I have a migraine.
I guess I just have to accept that every choice is half chance.